So I am put in a wheel chair and these horrible socks are put on my feet, They are prison-orange with black grippers on the bottom ( don't know why this is important but I remember at the time I thought they were the ugliest things I had ever seen) The nurse said It was cold in the OR and that I would want them on. She was right... but I will get to that later. So we get to the OR and they direct Mark towards a bench and tell him to wait outside and they will call him in.... My initial reaction, I burst out with "NO, he is coming in" but what I really was meaning was, "If you want me to go in, he is coming in with me. It is both of us or none at all" I was so panicked at the time, I knew being separated from him would kill me. They have me jump up on this thin table and Mark stands in between my legs. They raise the table up and the anesthesiologist has me crouch over.
Everything is moving at hyper-speed... It is now when I realize how dire a situation we are in. They wouldn't be moving this quick if something weren't truly wrong.Mark, tells me to focus on him as I feel the sting of the numbing medicine in my back ( the little numbing needle before they insert the "BIG ONE") Once the spinal is in, I am instantly laid down on the table, which is a good thing, because within seconds I cant feel my legs. The drape goes up at the same time and I feel pulling of some sort on my stomach.
Okay now I pride myself in knowing a whole lot about birth, I have watched many videos of sections, just to prepare myself if this situation ever were to arise. I know watching those videos, that things are happening alot faster to me than they ever did in the videos. Seriously less than one to two minutes since I got my spinal, and Mark tells me Gracie is out. ( two minutes that was way too quick... right, There must be a reason, something must be wrong. )
I was very internal at this point, wasn't talking or crying for that matter, but I see Mark looking over at the table where I assume Gracie is, but I can't see her, but shouldn't I hear her?! Why hadn't she cried. One minute ticks away at the clock, and still no crying. My midwife who stayed with me the entire time leans in and tells me there was meconium (poop) in her waters, and they are having to suction her before they stimulate her to breath, so she won't breath it in. That was the half of it. I find out later that Gracie is being worked on. They are heavily suctioning her nose and mouth as they perform CPR. At 1 minute her APGAR score is a 1 out of 10. If you know what that is, you know how BAD that is. The only thing she had was a slow decreasing pulse. Our little Gracie is a fighter though and at 2 minutes she decided she wanted to take her first breaths and she lets out this adorable lusty cry, along with more poop:) haha she was so stressed I guess that was her reaction to the situation. Her cry was just like Eldon's and I knew her at once. She was mine, and I was hers. They get her cleaned up and she poops again :) I think she was just teaching the doctors a lesson. The 4 doctors that were working on Gracie diminishes to just 2. Mark is taking pictures of her and showing me after he does because I still cant see her. After Everything is finally cleaned she is weighed in. Measuring only 5lbs 10 oz and 18 1/2 inches long. She is so teeny tiny. I was expecting a good 9 pounder since Eldon was 8-9 and I was past my due date. Mark brings Gracie over to me, and we meet for the first time. There is no denying she is the spitting image of her older brother. Long lashes, olive skin tone, and dark thick head of hair to prove it.After about 20 minutes I am stitched up and headed to recovery. I get to hold Gracie for the first time as they wheel me down the hall. Gracie is smothered with tons of kisses. She is my little miracle, and my baby girl!
I get to breast feed her withing 40 minutes of her being born. i would have guessed it would have been difficult, but she was a pro. She latched on great and feed for the next 40 minutes! I really was nervous about being separated from her, but she never left my side. After and hour in recovery Gracie was having a bit of trouble breathing, her lungs were pitting, and it just means she was working harder to breath, as they prick her foot to test her sugars, they call down to NICU, once NICU gets there 5 minutes later, she no longer was having problems. My little girl is a fighter I tell you! She was fighting since we arrived that night. Her sugars were a 90!! awesome because the cut off is 40.
We head down to postpartum all together. We were all 3 of us able to spend the next few hours together. they didn't take Gracie away at all. It was amazing!!!! I love my little girl so so so much. She is 2 weeks old today , and we cant imagine life without her.
Recovery has been tough, basically the hardest and most painful thing I have ever experienced. Not being able to move, and having a stinging gut punch every time I move to quickly, or try to sit up, or use my lower abs really has been hard to get use to. Still after 2 weeks its hard to sit up in bed. I have to have pillows propping me up in bed so when Gracie wakes up for a feeding, I am already halfway sitting up.
My incision is healing, but life is crazy now. Having 2 kids is a crazy world for me. I love My Eldon So very very much and now I love Gracie just the same. I love our little family, even though the experience is nothing like I had planned, I am glad Gracie is safe. Women always say it wont matter how you gave birth, just as long as the baby is safe, but I do have to admit I feel a bit robbed of the natural birth I wanted. I will get over it, but if we decide to have more kids, I really still do hope I can have my natural delivery.
P.S- Just in case you wanted to know- this is what I found out after the fact about Gracie's delivery. Gracie came out grey and not breathing, mark said when they pulled her out she was "floppy" like lifeless. Makes me cry every time I image it, now I'm really glad he didnt record it. She was not breathing, and we came soo close to losing her. We really could have easily lost her, If we would have come to the hospital an hour later the doctor said " things could have been "different" is the term my doctors used. But really they meant I could of had to give birth to a stillborn. No one wanted to use that word, but every one kept saying things could of gone wrong, or been different. I guess I really dont even like to use that term, especially now that I know our sweet little Gracie. Also her cord was half the size it should have been, which accounts for her smaller size, and not really able to thrive in the womb. They said the placenta looked "weird" not bad in the sense it was old, just not right. Seriously though we were VERY lucky. And blessed. Baby girl Gracie is a sweet little spirit and her name is very fitting to the way she came into this word. She was given to use by nothing less than the grace of God.
Welcome
GRACIE ABIGAIL GEORGE
5lbs 10 oz
18 1/5 inches long
May 26th, 2011
@ 11:42pm
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