Everyday for the past week or so I am reminded by my growing belly how little time I have left with ONLY my sweet baby boy Eldon. (just having to type this sentence starts the waterworks....) Don't get me wrong I am totally excited to have my little girl and for Eldon to have a partner in crime, but lots of me feels really guilty for having to take away time from him and split it with a new arrival.
Let me paint you a picture of our lives the past few months: Eldon is my best friend, I wake up every morning to my little guy calling out my name from the next room.... "mommaaaa, mooommma, mommaaa?!" He will get louder and louder and start to call out other names like"ko-eeeee" (Chloe) "beh-buh" (Bella) are the usual names because he knows they are home too, and then he will move on to "nannnna"(Nana) and "pawpaaa" (poppa), he normally only calls for dada after his nap, I don't know why that is, I think he knows by now that mark leaves for work. Anyways... off on a tangent... I get up wash my face, brush teeth, empty prego bladder and head to El's room, We change his diaper, and then dance in circles a bit in his room then it is off to let the puppies outside which immediately is followed up with a "baba" demanded by Eldon (like I have forgotten to grab him a sippy cup) then he request either "peh-jins" or "buzz" (penguins- for happy feet, but sometimes may also be called "pijjies", and buzz is requesting toy story) While he is busy watching the show I am preparing El's breakfast, usually eggs, sometimes he just goes for cereal when mom is really tired, and I am shoving down my yogurt, before he gets the chance to come "feed me" he loves to feed mommy her yogurt and finds it better when half of it ends up on the floor.:) We usually spend the mornings in the house with toys and bikes, and coloring, and of course toy story or happy feet are playing in the background alllllll morning long. If mommy isn't too tired we go on a walk and Eldon has to bring at least 15 toys along for the ride. the whole time i push him, if I slow down going up a hill he will start shouting out "Gooooo gooo go!" he can be very demanding :) after our fun morning El will nap for 2 hours usually some time around 1, I will nap too as of lately, or get some cleaning done. Once El wakes up, we run errands we need to for the day, and usually play outside until Dadda comes home sometime between 5 and 6. Then my little helper plays with dad for a few minutes while I start dinner. We eat, Eldon gets a bath usually by 5:45 but sometimes if mark is running late not til 6:15ish, We get into PJ's and sit on the couch for our final go at happy feet or buzz. We snuggle for about 30 minutes watching the movie, and then it is back to bed usually before 7. He lays down, I tell him to say his prays :) and I let him know he is my favorite little boy EVER and to not let the bed bugs bite. Sometimes i can hear him saying "Buuuug buug bugg..." as me and Mark leave the room. Then it is just me and hubby the rest of the night.
Now to you this may seem like the most boring day, but to me I LOVE IT!!!! my little buddy keeps me laughing, and running and chasing all day long! He is discovering new things and new words every day and I love to watch him grow. Life as a stay at home mom can be hard, but my goodness I can never see myself missing out on all the things Eldon does and enjoys during the day. He is the best little guy, and I am so lucky to be his mom, he is my light, When I get an ounce of pregnancy hormones all I want to do is cuddle with my little guy! He is my happy thought, as Tinkerbell told peter pan once to think of a happy thought and he would fly, Eldon is my thought and he makes me fly everyday I am with him!
Now to why I am so sad, I am so scared that I might lose the bond that me and him have when baby Gracie comes, I'm so scared he will resent me for changing her first or giving her a bottle, or picking he up when she cries. I want Eldon to have everything he wants when it comes to me, if I had to I would give him every part of me. No sacrifice would be too big. I understand finally how hard it was for Heavenly Father to turn the other way as his son was beaten and hung on the cross. How much it had to hurt him to see his child, his own son in such mortal pain. What an amazing sacrifice that was displayed not only by Jesus but by his father, who I am sure had just of hard of time doing nothing when he had the power to do everything. And Everything is what I would give for Little Eldon. He is the best and most perfect son any mother could want and he is mine, he is my baby. I love him from his head to his little piggy toes!
So only a week and a half until I am full term :/ I want to see and meet Gracie and have the baby I have loved for 9 months with us, but I am okay with her staying inside just a few more weeks so that me and my Eldon get our last few days with "just us"! I pray he loves his sister just as much as I love him and that he wants to protect her just as I would protect him :) We are edging this final count down... who knows what will happen at the other side :) Lets hope and PRAY everything will go smoothly.
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| My best friend and I looking out off Stone mountain into downtown ATL |
On a side note I found this short story and I think it pretty much describes my mind as of yet, with a pregnant brain and all... hopefully you will enjoy, and I am leaving on a more humorous note!
If You Give a Mom a Muffin
If you give a mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of diet coke to go with it.
So she'll pour herself some.
The coke will get spilled by her two year old.
She'll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she will find some dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do some laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She'll trip over some shoes and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper for tonight.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With a Pound of Hamburger.)
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill which is due tomorrow.
She will look for the checkbook.
The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old.
She'll smell something funny.
She'll change the two year old.
While she is changing the two year old the phone will ring. (Of course!)
Her two year old will grab the phone and accidentally hang up.
She remembers that she wants to phone a friend to come over and share a diet coke on Friday.
Thinking of coke will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
She will pour herself some.
And chances are,
If she has a cup of diet coke,
Her kid will have eaten or smashed the muffin that went with it.
( PS I exchanged coffee for diet coke :) Hope this made you smile, it did for me )
