Ever since Eldon was born people have been asking me,"what is your schedule like?" I kinda go through my day, but as for a schedule I have no clue what they mean, so I have been doing some research which I will get to. But as for my day in day out schedule, I believe in listening to when Eldon wants and needs, not other advise and not what I may want him to do or want. We are both kind of stubborn like that. Okay so onto the more talked about conversations. "have your started a sleep schedule?" first I will give you basic research i found then I will voice my opinion.
the "Cry it out" Method
These sleep training methods say it's okay to leave your child to cry, if necessary, although they don't advocate letting a baby cry endlessly. Typically these approaches suggest putting your baby to bed when he's still awake and allowing short periods of crying punctuated by comforting (but not picking up) your child. Continue this until the baby have learned to fall asleep on their own. Usually takes only a week or less to see results.
the "No tears" Method
Sleep training methods in this category encourage a more gradual approach, with the parent offering comfort right away when their child cries. Pediatrician William Sears, author of The Baby Sleep Book, is probably the most well known proponent. Parent educator Elizabeth Pantley outlines a step-by-step no-tears approach in her book The No-Cry Sleep Solution.
Generally speaking, those who favor a no-tears approach over CIO methods consider leaving a child alone and crying to be unnatural, unkind, and a betrayal of the trust your baby is developing in adults and the world around him. The idea is that bedtime offers an opportunity to connect with your child by developing quiet, cozy nighttime rituals and by quickly responding to your baby's requests for food and comfort.
Pediatrician and "attachment parenting" advocate William Sears devotes an entire chapter of The Baby Sleep Book to a critique of CIO approaches. Sears, along with no-tears advocates such as Elizabeth Pantley (author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution), believes that CIO techniques can give your child negative associations with bedtime and sleep that could last a lifetime.
in opposition the CRY IT OUT METHOD says:
CIO approach disagree. They say it isn't traumatic for babies to cry alone for short periods of time with frequent check-ins by Mom or Dad — and the end result is a well-rested, happier child. They say no-tears sleep strategies may cause babies to be overly dependent on comfort from a parent at bedtime, making it harder for them to learn to soothe themselves to sleep.
MY OPINION!!!
Okay so I am not here to take one side or the other just to voice what works for me. People really keep pushing this cry it out(CIO) method on me, and I just can't seem to grasp it. I have tried it here and there for no more that 2 minutes at a time because for me it breaks my heart to here my baby cry louder and louder especially when I know all he wants is me. Okay so here goes, I can't say if crying a little is good or bad for babies;leave that to the experts to argue over, all I know is that Eldon HATES to just be placed in bed, if that works for other babies great. But what is wrong with rocking your baby to sleep, singing him a beautiful lullaby, soothing him softly into sleep; instead of just setting him in his crib and listen to endless crying until he just give up hope that i will soothe him and he has to soothe himself. My most favorite moments of motherhood are when me and Eldon are all alone he is crying, I hold him close, wrap a blanket tightly around him for comfort, and sing him a special song, while he slowly calms down, gazes at me, to let me know he loves me, and his eyes slowly drift into a deep sleep. I continue to hold him for a little while longer just to take in the moment, then I kiss his and place him in bed usually between 9pm and 10pm and we both sleep till 5am. Why can't I rock my baby to sleep I ask? WHY? I feel there is no right or wrong, it is what you feel in your heart, you know your baby and you know what works. All I know is I lost one baby and I would give anything to hold them just once, and if I hold Eldon just a few minutes longer no one can tell me that is wrong. I have cried over this issue a few time, and now I know I am not wrong. Eldon is the most precious and perfect blessing I have Ever been giving, and if it takes just a little more effort to get him to sleep than just placing him in bed, then I will do it. And when he gets older I will read just one more book when he ask and I will hug him just one more time, because he is only little for a while, and I full intend on taking it all in. My favorite think in the world is a peaceful baby and I love being responsible for helping him get the peaceful sleep he needs. Sorry if I offended anyone, but I just needed to vent my own feelings.
I just wanted to leave with a quick story, A girl my friend know was in a car accident 5 days before her due date, and it caused the baby stress and he inhaled his miconium, which wasn't discovered for 3 days. So he was born with respiratory problems. He lived for 4 days. And they turned off his life support, and he died in his Mommy's arms 5 minutes later. Please keep her in your prayers.
I know because of this story I will hold my baby tighter and longer tonight!
I don't think there is any one certain method that works for everyone. Every family and every baby is different and you have to figure out what works for you. One of the best pieces of parenting advice I ever heard was to ignore all the other advice you get because your baby is special and unique and what worked for someone else won't necessarily work for you.
ReplyDeleteWe had to let Jem cry it out because he was waking up too often in the middle of the night and I couldn't handle 5 nighttime wakings anymore. It was making me exhausted and generally a more cranky mother during the day. Now that he knows how to fall asleep by himself, when he wakes up in the middle of the night he puts himself right back to sleep without crying, and he sleeps for 11-12 hours straight and we're all a lot happier.
Figuring out how to be a parent is tough stuff and we need to try to remember that no one else's opinion really matters because we are GOOD mommies who care about our babies and we will always try to do the best thing for them. And our babies are unique so someone else's experiences can't always be compared to ours. There is a mom in our ward who has three kids and she was telling me that all three of her kids were totally different in how they learned to sleep.
You are such a great mom and Eldon is so lucky to have you!
omg to the story. God bless them. i can't imagine the pain. i think i'll hold Hayden just a little tighter today :o)
ReplyDeleteAnd about Cry It Out. I totally agree. We've tried it. and i HATE it. I feel horrible. And Hayden is a very good baby. I just don't believe he is manipulative and unaware of his own needs. Heck, he knows better than me. That's why he tells me. Yeah, i love rocking Hayden to sleep. it's all preference. Most people do CIO because they don't want to have to hold their child. I don't mean to be mean, but it's generally not in the best interest of a child. My opinion.
You can never love too much.
ReplyDelete