In the end it is all worth it

today was a pretty tough emotional and physical day:( to start out with my back has been killing me all day, especially where my epidural was. the pain starts there and then shoots down my left leg, It got so bad at one point that it was dropping me to my knees in pain, I was so lucky I wasn't holding Eldon or I think I may have dropped him. Then while dealing with the pain, Eldon has been very unsatisfied this evening. Mark left for work around 3:30 pm and He had put Eldon to sleep, at 6:30 Eldon had not woken up , and my lactation nurse told me to not let Eldon sleep ore than 2 hours during the day, and 3 at night ( I am trying to build up my supply and she says this is how it is done) so anyways I woke Eldon up fed him and changed him, and he still was fussing so I fed him again and from that point on Eldon just fussed and cried like I have never heard him cry before from then until almost 11:00pm!!! I was to the point of tears trying everything, and trying it again and again every ten minutes or so, I finally gave him a bath thinking he was just tired and needed something to relax him more... no that just made him more mad, It is the hardest thing for me to hear Eldon cry it just breaks my heart and when he doesn't stop sometimes I just cry right along with him. Finally he was able to settle down around 11:30 and eventually he wore himself out and fell asleep on me. And do you want to know what makes it all worth it ... right before he fell into a deep sleep, he flashed this adorable smile, and giggled!! Now I don't know if he was just laughing at me as sort of a " got ya Mom!" kinda deal or just gas but either way it was soooo cute, and worth the headache of this long day!