{PRETTY, HAPPY, FUNNY, REAL}

I have been told that my post sound kinda depressing lately, So I wanted to let everyone know that things are okay here! We have up and down days, and maybe I write about more of the down days, what can I say it is therapeutic, so I will try harder to be more well rounded :). I wanted to start posting more picture, not on a specific day, but just more regularly. I am borrowing this from many other blogs I read... I call it:

{Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real}

So here we go!

{REAL}
Eldon is my little poser! He shoots me these great model faces.

{FUNNY}
I am required to take multiple picture of Woody, requested by none other than Eldon.

{REAL}
We do make messes... a lot, this is very true and real life. My husband makes me laugh! Mark forgot that he had already opened the Alfredo sauce.. he went to shake it up and it went everywhere!

{Happy}
Looking at this face makes me smile!

{REAL&FUNNY}
My son does on occasion pick his nose, especially if daddy tells him to do it for the camera.

{REAL}
Again, I was TOLD I HAD to take Woody's picture

{REAL & FUNNY}
I make  really big stockings, and Eldon is silly!

{PRETTY}
Gracie loves to bounce!!! She really is such a delight to have in our home.

{PRETTY}
"Thank heaven for little girls!" is what her bib says, We love her so much. Mark always says Gracie doesn't know how not to smile!



{HAPPY}
I am a lucky mom, It may never get any easier but it is very worth ever minute!



{PRETTY,HAPPY,REAL}
I can here what they are thinking... "Mom whats the big deal with this Santa guy", says Gracie. Eldon joins in the conversation, "Okay mom I sat on his lap and didn't cry, can I get that candy cane now!?"





life lately...

Tired, stressed, overworked, and underpaid tend to describe my life lately. Now noted we have our fun times here and there but I have been go, go ,go , go it seems ever since Gracie so I haven't blogged in a while because I have had a hard time finding anything to say.
So to explain why I am so tired... my sweet little baby Gracie LOVES me!!! Which is not a bad thing... until a month ago when she stopped sleeping through the night and started nursing 3 times a night! But the funny thing is she screams her head off if we try to soothe her in any other way other that me nursing her, and trust me we have tried everything. Mark going in first, making sure she doesn't need changing, patting her on the back while still being in the crib, picking her up to rock her, bottle (which she still have never taken), pacifier (again she has never taken this either, but I am still trying)... Nothing works other than me getting up to nurse. She is so cute though, all she wants is to smile and coo while nursing until she decides she want to go back to bed. Which some nights it is 10 minutes, some nights 30minutes but the usual has been about an hour or more, and this would be okay if it were just once a night but it is 2 and 3 times a night. So the schedule for Gracie's sleep is  8:30pm bed time, wake up 1st time midnight, back to bed by 1am. awake for the 2nd time at 3am, back in bed at 3:45am, and finally awake for the day anywhere between 5:30am and 6:00am. she will cat nap for 5 or 10 minutes but won't stay asleep until she is back down for a nap at 11am and sleeps till 11:45am usually. Then if I am lucky she will fall asleep during Eldon's nap time around 1pm and usually sleep for an hour and a half, but then she is awake until we do bath time and back to sleep at 8:30pm.
This sleep schedule would concern me if it weren't for 1 thing. She is always so darn happy!!! 1am she is happy and smiling and cooing away, same with 3am, and by 6am she is literally talking baby talk so loud that is usually wakes Eldon up far to early. She is always smiling... as long as I am giving her attention. If I set her in her bouncer next to me and try to catch some sleep while she is awake, she will have none of it and continues to scream until my undivided exhausted self is giving her my attention.
I am so Tired! By the time the house is shut down for the night and I get my alone time, and spend time with Mark, I am usually in bed around 11pm( I am trying to get to bed earlier, but It is soooo hard) so I am averaging 4 1/2 hours of sleep if not less. I am trying soo hard to push through ( this can't last forever right?!) but we are going on month 2 and I am breaking. I find myself not going out during the day because I am sooo tired, I don't want to be a danger in a car to others or my sweet babies. I put on a movie instead of getting down and playing with Eldon, dishes are going unwashed, laundry is stacking up.  Am I not supermom? Can't I do it all? Lately I am beginning to doubt myself. I made a goal to start going out more now that Gracie is older, but this past month and a half have been spent with me struggling to wake up for the day. I also made a goal to start loosing my baby weight, and my postpartum after my c-section weight, which with the lack of sleep and stress is making it impossible at best.
Eldon is getting better at tolerating Gracie, he actually is fine as long as Dad (marky) isnt holding her. At the house if she cries he says, "It's okay Gwacie, Gwacie no cry now, momma's coming" and in the morning when he wakes up after I change him and get him ready he will run to the living room where Gracie usually is and shout "Gwacie's awake now!" Very excited, and he helps me take her to her crib when she falls asleep. So that is all great, but I fear that his lack of stimulating is affecting him. He is very spirited and independant and bless his heart he is just having a tough time listening when mommy and daddy tell him no. He takes no as a personal invitation to continue his bad behavior. We are working on this and we have our better days usually they are the ones when I give him alot of attention, or we have a bunch of activities planned. That Is why I think my lack of sleep is hurting him and me.
I try to enjoy my late night moments with Gracie. I try to take in how much she loves me. I know how much i love and adore her so I hope she loves me even half as much. I am greatful that she is so healthy and strong. I try to keep positive when I am at my tired points, because being sad or depressed about it just hurts myself and others.
For now we are still trying to get Gracie to take a bottle (with not a lot of luck) although she has taken a cup once, so I think that is our next step. She seems just as attached to me as I am to her. I use to hold her when she was first born and think about what my life would have been like if I lost her, and how blessed I was to be given the chance to know her. So maybe this is my own doing, me holding her to much, but if this is the worst thing I do to my kids then I will be okay.
This too will pass... I will enjoy it while I can and hopefully a few months from now I will be laughing and remembering about the days when I got no sleep.

Gracie's twin

My little girl has a twin!! I spend the majority of my day staring at Gracie and Eldon. After much thought me and Mark both agreed... Gracie looks like the cute, adorable, angelic, youngest of his six adopted siblings...... DOPEY! 

Check out her ears.. haha, her ear really dont stick out that far, they just curve with her head and it makes them look like they stick out. I think she is adorably unique.

Now look at her angelic glazed over blue eyes!

Same as Dopey. But the Cherry on the cake....

Check out that smile. Full, tounge showing, cheek pinchable grin!!


I never Really likds the movie snow white, but I do remember only liking Dopey, the others were to scary, and hairy. I found this little bit of info on Dopey:

Dopey is often the butt of the other dwarfs' jokes, and his silly, playful actions often annoy the pompous Doc and the short-tempered Grumpy. He is not dumb, but merely acts like a toddler. Happy explains he simply has never tried to talk. Though he occasionally whimpers, laughs or hiccups, he does not talk. Dopey is the most popular of the seven dwarfs among audiences.

Despite being conceived late in production, Dopey proved to be the most endearing of the dwarfs. Dopey's appeal proved the success of silent characters in feature films. At one point, Dopey was even considered for the title role in The Sorceror's Apprentice in Fantasia before Mickey Mouse was chosen. However, many of Dopey's traits remain, including the long, floppy sleeves and playful attitude.

The name Dopey may to some carry bad meaning, but for me everytime I see that dwarf, I am reminded of his innocence. What a great comparison to our sweet girl. Innocent, pure, and most of all happy.

Gracie is 4 months old

I am about a week late in posting, but our little Gracie turned 4 months old last week. Has it really been that long since she was born. Our sweet little angel has been blessing our lives since the day she enter. No lying it was incredibly tough being mom to both Gracie and Eldon, while recovering from my much disappointing and painful birth experience, and do all the same things I did before.
For the past 4 months I have been struggling, trying to be my best self, trying to do it all I guess. Lately things have been really great. My way of solving this issue was just to stop. Stop cleaning, stop cooking, stop worrying every 2 seconds, just be a mom and wife. Mark has been great. After about a week I slowly added things back in. Cooking, going out with the kids, cleaning.  Now I am no supermom, and I am still having issues physically from my Cesarean, but the more time passes the more I think that everything will work itself out.
now onto the fun stuff... GRACIE

She is our spunky little girl who just curls with smiles every time she is given a complement. Literally her entire body curls down, I can always tell when she is laughing even from behind. She love being complemented too, Mark tells her how pretty she is and she just smiles sooo big.
She is a serious mommas girl. I can't put her down, and she can't stand it either. Which is seriously amazing, haha but sometimes my girl needs to let me go. She will nap for 1 -2 hours in my arms or 20 minutes out. Now granted she is sleeping threw the night about 80% of the time from usually around 10pm til anywhere between 5:30am if she hears Mark in the morning or 7:30am if she needs a good nap.
She hates tummy time, which is again most likely my fault, but I finally got her to around 5 minutes, YEAH!!
The little lady has found her voice... and it is loud. So along with her not sleeping during the day, neither does Eldon because her little coos and ahhs are more like COOOOOOO and AHHHHHHH!! She seriously is a loud one. I find it so funny she gets louder the more tired she gets, then I will look down because it instantly stops and she is sleeping. Haha my kids have 2 switches either on or off.
She loves her daddy. On the mornings she wakes up when he does, she greats him with such a great smile, and when he gets home even if she is about to fall asleep she wakes up and can't stop flirting with him.
She is still our tiny little baby, who would of guessed she would be so tiny at 42 week gestation, but I guess she really did need the time to "cook" a bit more, and I am glad I stuck to my guns and wasn't pressured into inducing 2-3 weeks prior. Who knows if she would of been developed all the way physically yet. I havent been in to the doctor yet for her 4 month check up, but at 3 1/2 months she was weighing in around 11 1/2 pounds. She is tall though so thats good!
She is growing so much. But with each day she gets funner to be around. We are at that age now where we are just waiting and watching for her to do the next big thing. Roll over, giggle, crawl. We can't wait!

Love you Gracie Girl!!

And of course we can't forget about Eldon! The best baby boy it the world!ELDON!

Why I want mark to get on with a house that has a pole

I have been sick all day, and now cant fall asleep because of congestion, but it is all worth it! haha I had to share this with everyone and anyone. This made my day. Haha I always wondered what Mark would do at a station when not on a call. I guess this gives him something to think about.

I love you Mark, you are our hero!

-Steph, Eldon & Mark

Happy Gradparents day

On the tenth anniversary of the Twin Towers and 9/11 attacks, the ones that forever changed my life views, opinions, and actions as well as millions of other Americans, it is a little ray of sunshine to be able to also spend this day celebrating Grandparents. And WOW do Gracie and Eldon have the best. Even from across the sea Nanna and Poppa are still in the running for number 1. I gave up months ago  competing with them, because they are so cool, they win every time. Only Daddy has a shot at winning number 1 now. That's okay I am fine with just being mommy! Because seriously I have the best kids ever and to know that they are all mine makes up for not being number 1 haha! Plus Eldon and Gracie are so rocking they need an awesome Nanna and Poppa, which they have! So mom and dad this post is for you! What a blessing you are in our lives, seriously you are killing us being so far away, but that too will pass. You both make our kids so happy, Eldon's whole world lights up every time the phone rings because he thinks it is nanna or poppa. You both bring so much joy in our lives we love you beyond measure. Oh and mom can't wait for the continents to come back together so you can walk to our house soon! (haha) Love you both, from Steph, but mostly Eldon and Gracie!!!

Where do you see yourself in 10 years

10 years ago:

• I was 14 years old
• I had just begun my Freshman year of High school
• I was shy, and a bit of an ugly duckling (or at least that's how I felt when I was that age)
• we had been living in GA for almost 3 years
• The twin towers we attacked
• and... I wrote this:

"I just arrived at school and was a bit early so I went to the library to finish up some last minute homework. I noticed the library turning on the TV which was odd because she turned the volume on. That never happens. I try to tune out the noise. I decide to listen in, but the bell rang for advisement so without paying attention to the TV, I went on my way. We were suppose to be in advisement till 8:45, but I guess the bell schedule was lagging and we didn't. Out homeroom noticed others turning on the TV and watching, we decided to do the same.... Wow we couldn't believe it was this a joke? a plane just hit the twin towers in NYC.
The bell rang, just a few minutes later, but the TVs in the hallway were all playing the same thing. The news. And again during 2nd period all we watched was the TV. My English teacher let us skip the lesson for the day.  Another tower got hit, the Pentagon too. Seriously it is beginning to feel like my little bubble of a world is unravelling. Then the unimaginable: the tower falls! After what seemed to be only be an hour later. My prayers went out in hopes that everyone made it out okay. Little did I know, thing were not okay, far from it.
The rest of the day went on much of the same, we were shoveled from classroom to classroom as usual, but only to sit in a new seat and watch the TV. Parents came and pulled friends out of school. By lunch it seemed as if half the school was gone. I was a bit paniced as to why my mom wasn't coming to get me too. But was given a note in one of my last classes that she would pick me and my brother up at the end of the day.
A few days have passed and we still turned to the news everyday. It seemed a new clip of the 9/11 event, as they were calling it, popped up every day. I am scared to know what will happen to everyone still trapped. I hope for the best. I don't really understand why the planes crashed, and why this terrorist group felt they had to hurt people that didn't hurt them. I don't want to go on a plane anytime soon, they make me nervous. Like I said I don't understand a lot that happened on September 11th, I just know what I saw. I hope that I will never live to see something like this happen again."

My English teacher made us write our thoughts down. I can't recall how long after, but it couldn't have been more that a week or two. I tucked it away in my scriptures but I haven't read it in some time. Looking back I can't help but think about "then" and "now" what has changed, what hasn't(not much) all the things I have done. Graduated HS, Moving to VA, then to Utah, getting married, my son, moving back to GA for a new job for Mark ( a Fireman!!), and now Gracie.
Does anyone else think about how their kids will never know a world before September 11th, 2001. They also will never know how it felt that day to watch as our world fell apart on national television. Everything I do is plagued with the actions of 9/11. I really have no desire to go up into a high building. For example I visited ground zero when I was living in VA and saw the clean up still. my friends wanted to go up to the top of the Empire state building, and I chose to do something else. I will always think before I let my kids out of my hands. As they grow I know they will want to go away with friends, but it still makes me nervous to think.
Being the wife of an Atlanta firefighter (and VERY Proud might I add) The attacks of September 11th, 2001 take on a new light. I can only imagine what the families of the 343 firemen and women must have gone through, and I really hope I never have to.
My God Bless this country for the next ten years and keep us safe. I hope I can find a way to honor those who were murdered 10 years ago by living a better life!

here a few proud moments in my life as a Fireman's wife:

Being able to play dress up in REAL Firefighter gear.

Or as Eldon calls "woooo wooo"( the sound a fire engine makes)

Coming inside and instead of coats there are SCBA mask, fire helmet, and a hood

Mark's SCBA mask closer view. (notice the batman symbol)

May we always remember and never forget.  and my we live a life that was worthy of the sacrifices made on that day. This post is especially for the 343 men and women firefighter, my heart goes out to your families.